


Murder, fur coats and gay bars

by xButtons



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alcohol Usage, Multi, Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 07:00:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6069672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xButtons/pseuds/xButtons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(( friend suggested the title )) Izaya is trying to stir up trouble for the sake of stirring up trouble, even if that includes pitting newer forming gangs together, again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A sac of nuts

He swiveled to Namie, but before he could say a damn thing, she turned her head to look at Izaya.

“What is it this time?” She didn’t even miss a beat.

The information broker lets out a quick sigh and pushed himself up from his chair.

“I’m going to take the rest of the day off.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You only have an hour and a half left. Sit down.”

He plopped down in his chair, making it roll closer to the wall. ‘ _Jeez, no empathy. I know I’m an asshole 99% of the time, but it really feels like someone drained out all my energy.’_ He laid his head down on his desk. ‘ _And it’s probably Shizu-chan’s fault. He’s always throwing shit at me; and by shit I mean HUGE shit. I guess I can’t blame him, but sometimes it’s really annoying, ugh.’_

The only noise in their office was the steady tick of the clock overhead. Izaya opened his mouth to say something else, but was met with the side eye of his secretary.

He just stared over at his game board to see if he can move any of the pieces, got up and walked over to it and slumped down.

Time was going way too slow. What one hour and thirty minutes was, felt like it was twice that. Izaya straightened himself up, taking a deep breath to add some noise to the silence.

He stood up right when the time was up, checked his computer one last time before shutting it down staring at himself through the black screen.

“You’re so dramatic.” Namie remarked, standing up herself. She rolled her eyes while walking to the door, then turned around. “I’m not even the boss, you could’ve left if you wanted to.”

Izaya faked his grin this time. He was caught off guard, and Namie knew that. One tally for Namie today, he guessed.

Once she left, he sat back down at his desk and looked out the window, down at the street below him. There was a group of “kids” hanging around. Who knows what they’re up to. He grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair, turned the last of the lights off and headed out.

~~

He could hear his stomach growl at him, he shushed it and kept walking. He’d eat when he’d get home, he thought. He made sure to take back roads, just in case. He didn’t want to run into that beast, even if it was kind of late for him to be roaming around anyway.

Izaya snickered to himself at the thought of Shizuo giving himself a curfew. That bastard was hardly ever out passed eleven if he could help it, which was great.

Right when he turned the corner of his block, a faint screech echoed throughout the neighborhood. His first instinct was to duck, and ducked behind a trash can. It got closer, leading someone to get smashed against the building one down from him.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t Shizuo playing Punch-out with annoying pedestrians –as much as that would be exciting to watch- it was those kids that he saw earlier, pretending to be in a gang. It seemed like they didn’t get it, like they were more oblivious to “ganging” than Mikado was when he created his.

He fought with himself over whether he should sneak away or just disrupt their poor attempt at power. Electing the latter, he pulled a knife out of his right pocket, flinging it at one of the ugliest brutes’ arms.

That kid screamed loud, like he was crying for his mother. _Boy, wouldn’t that be something._ A grin spread across Izaya’s his face as one of the guys’ stupid, ugly friends with a potato sack over their head came charging at him. _What amateurs._ Izaya jumped away and kicked him straight between his shoulder blades.

“Pfft. What kind of gang do you even call yourselves?” He mocked, dodging another attempted attack.

“It’s a secret, why do you care?” A muffled voice came from his attacker.

“Aw, that sounds so tough.” Izaya giggled. He couldn’t believe how naïve these kids were. All they thought about was attacking women and waving weapons around like they were in some serious business. Little did they know, they were dealing with one of Ikebukuro’s strongest men. The thought of them running into Shizuo was too amusing to him that he almost got lacerated in the face.

“Careful now” Izaya pouted, jumping backwards. “You could’ve killed me.”

The gaggle of idiots looked at one another, then back at the info broker like he was high off his ass. Izaya shrugged.

“It’s gonna be SO much fun when you guys get notoriety!” His expression fell dark while a grin was still plastered on his face, then turned his phone on to record them.

“H-hey, what’re you doing that for?” One of sputtered out. They started for him again, but were avoided once more. Izaya smiled and hopped away. He was going to show this to Mikado and see what his opinion was, maybe even get him to knock them out, just to give the dollars more credence under their belt.

The rest of the way home was silent. He hoped there was more excitement tomorrow, and began cooking up more ideas. He wondered if he showed it to both Mikado _and_ Kida. Surely Mikado’s clan would get to them first.


	2. Mad Hatter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya meets up with Mikado briefly, and almost outs him to another friend.

The next morning, Mikado’s phone rang at least three times before he begrudgingly turned to his left side to peek at his phone. He let out a small sigh and held it up to his ear.

“Hello?” He yawned.

“I apologize, Mikado-kun” the caller replied, an audible grin was very present, “Why don’t you stop by my office later, I want to show you something.”

Before Mikado could answer, the caller hung up. He clicked the button, turned back around and lifted his blanket over his head.

“What more does he want?” Mikado whispered to himself and forced himself out of bed. It confused him how people could be as energetic in the morning, especially at 7 am. Izaya must be injecting caffeine into his system directly, he thought.

Without much thought, Mikado took a shower and shoved a bagel in his mouth after getting dressed. Even if it was Saturday, he felt like it was going to be a long day. Getting called in by Izaya Orihara was like meeting with the Mad Hatter. Sometimes he made complete sense, but most of the time he was confusing as hell.

He ran into Erika a few minutes out the door, she offered to accompany him, to which he agreed. Hopefully, he would let him out early and he can spend the rest of his day doing his homework and watching Netflix; unless Aoba called him.

“Soo, where’re you going?” Erika sang.

“…Orihara-san.”

“What does he want with you this time?”

“He didn’t say, just that he wanted to show me something…”

“Mind if I come? My cosplay meet isn’t until noon.”

“Uh, yeah.” He scratched the back of his head and smiled.

They turned the corner to the block his office was on and continued inside.

“Ah! Mikado-kun.” Izaya spun around in his chair facing the door they came in. Namie sat back down and continued her work, trying not to get involved.

Mikado and Erika looked at each other, then the information broker motioned to one of the couches.

“I see you brought a friend along.” He smirked. “It’s okay I’m not gonna harass you, _directly._ ” Izaya kept the last word to himself. “Anyway! I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Namie rolled her eyes in annoyance. Now it’s her time to count down the hours. The wheels rolled back towards the window as he got up and waltzed over towards the sofas and pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket.

“So, I ran into these people last night, you two should be _extra_ careful. They’re sooooo dangerous.”

Mikado rose an eyebrow.

“Well they attack women- one of them was a girl- and were intent on killing me. Isn’t that a shame?” they could tell his frown was fake but played along. Half of Mikado didn’t really care about this whole ordeal, but he still pretended so he could leave earlier.

“I also called Masaomi-kun about this.”

“Wait what?” Suddenly Mikado regretted ever agreeing to show up and wished he just stayed in bed. He could somewhat tell what he was trying to get out of him and was getting a bit tired of it. Instead of answering further, he just stood up and waved. “I’m sorry Orihara-san, I can’t stay I-uh, I have a paper I have to work on.”

Erika wasn’t too far behind him and was bewildered. She decided she would ask once they took their exit.

“I’ll send it to you later, then.” A hint of disappointment followed. Maybe it was because Mikado’s friend was with him that made the potential of being outed more uncomfortable.

It wasn’t too long before Izaya heard a chuckle from the other side of the room. “What?” he snapped at his secretary.

She didn’t answer him back and continued with whatever she was doing. He let out a sigh and laid down on his back, looking at the giant ceiling fan above him. Not a minute later and he was already cooking up a plan that was even more exciting than just telling Mikado and Masaomi.

He sprung up and swung back into his chair, rolling across the floor before pulling himself back to the keyboard. _Why didn’t I think of it earlier?_ He grinned, signing into the chat room. Instead of only showing two, why not show it to hundreds?

That was the best idea he’s had for weeks. It wasn’t until a giant wad of paper hit his face that he re-entered reality. He shoved his flash drive in the port and waiting until it completely uploaded.

Immediately, the screen was filled with multicolored chat bubbles. People were confirming that they saw these dipshits as well, but thought nothing of them except lowly muggers. No one really wanted to deal with them but were determined to wipe them away. They were more of a nuisance than a real threat. Izaya was kind of disappointed by their reactions, but expected it nonetheless; at least he’d have one less annoyance to chase him in his free time.

“Oi, Namie.” He turned his chair towards her desk. She shifted her eyes slightly to acknowledge him, but kept on whatever she was doing. “We should grab a drink after hours?” his statement turned into a question the moment she turned her head to look at him.

“Why?” her head turned back to her screen. He let out a sigh but followed it by a grin to mask disappointment, because he knew what her answer would be.

“Why not?”

At this point, Namie felt like just giving in just to make his annoying voice stop so she can concentrate. Even though she was only his secretary, he really didn’t do anything a boss would do.

“Because I have important stuff to do that doesn’t involve you.”

“Hmm, if you say so…” he knew she was sort of lying but didn’t feel like getting a wastebasket to his face if he brought ‘stalking your little brother and his girlfriend’ up.

This time he decided to go for a drink himself, maybe he’d see something exciting. A few more clients came in, luckily. Two men in suits, and slicked black hair were the last clients of the day. Something seemed pretty off, and Izaya did his best to analyze them. He noticed the very slight curl of one’s mustache paste coming off. Were these guys were disguising themselves to get information? They probably didn’t know whether to trust the information broker or not, most people kind of didn’t and still showed up in normal attire.

\--

Mikado cannonballed onto his bed when he closed his door behind him. He couldn’t tell the others about his affiliation with the dollars, especially the rank he held. Erika was too nice of a friend to ever know what goes on behind the scenes of either party, although he tried to explain what happened at Izaya’s office as best he could without spilling too much.

He pressed his face into his pillows and fell asleep, wishing he could put an end to all this commotion that’s torn he and his friends apart. The constant lying and keeping secrets wasn’t pulling them any closer. He felt like maybe he should have gone back to his home in the countryside and avoided all of this mess.

Throughout his thoughts, one stood out in particular: _what if Kida and I make a truce and merge both of them together?_ He breathed. _I doubt it would ever happen easily, though. That Mad Hatter would needle his way in our business._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been getting writers block soo much lately. I feel like I need to continue my other fanfics as well or try to end them off short.
> 
> I'm really envisioning how to form this around the title since I had no path for the fanfic in general before, but since I'm writing an AU alongside it, it might take longer.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been debating whether to post this story or not, gave up on it for a few months and just finished the first chapter. I posted this on Wattpad as well. This story doesn't have a set plot yet, but I have a few ideas. ;o


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